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Facts and Figures
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Results of a recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that one in five female students have reported being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.
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The study also found that this dating abuse is associated with other serious health risk behaviors including: substance abuse, eating disorders, sexual risk behaviors, pregnancy and suicide attempts.
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Dating violence is a pattern of committing or threatening an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other within the context of dating or courtship. This violence includes any form of sexual assault, physical violence and verbal or emotional abuse. Abuse can cause injury or death. It can happen to anyone, at any age, no matter a person's race, religion, level of education, economic background or sexual orientation.
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The majority of dating violence occurs when the relationship is serious or steady. In several studies, young men became more violent as they began to see themselves as part of a couple.
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Alcohol
is another exacerbating factor in dating violence. As the consumption
of alcohol by either the victim or perpetrator increases, the rate
of serious injuries associated with dating violence also increases.
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A healthy relationship is an ongoing process involving commitment, flexibility, respect and honesty.
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Males commit nearly 95% of all assaults in relationships. Men with a family history of seeing or experiencing abuse are more likely to inflict abuse, violence and sexual aggression.
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Teens can choose better relationships when they learn to identify early warning signs of an abusive relationship, understand they have choices and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect.
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There are several groups of teens even more at risk for dating violence, these are pregnant teens, teens of color and gay and lesbian teens.
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Warning Signs of Abuse in Teen Dating Relationships
Victims, 95% female, experience the following:
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Verbal abuse including name calling and put downs
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Extreme jealousy
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Canceling plans at the last minute, monitoring and other controlling behavior
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Uncontrolled anger, partner is cruel to animals and/or children
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Isolation from family and friends
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Dramatic mood changes, hyper-sensitivity
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Injuries
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Quick progression of the relationship
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Partner believes in rigid sex roles
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Weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically signs of depression, which could indicate abuse
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Use of drugs/alcohol by their partner
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Safety Planning for Teens
You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous relationship. Here are some things to consider in designing your own safety plan.
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What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse?
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What people at school can you tell in order to be safe--teachers, principal, counselors, security?
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Consider changing your school locker or lock.
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Consider changing your route to/from school.
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Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities.
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What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?
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If stranded, who could you call for a ride home?
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Keep a journal describing the abuse.
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Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, pagers or cell phones.
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Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times.
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Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person?
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What other things can you do?
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Teens Talk to Teens Who are Victims
How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
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Point out the different types of abuse
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Express your concerns
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Be accepting
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Work on a safety plan
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Support
your friend's strengths
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Reach out to adults for help
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Talk to the abusive partner, if you feel safe doing it
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Be there, listen and stay there
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Keep educating yourself about dating violence
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Dating Bill of Rights
I have a right to: ask for a date, refuse a date, suggest
activities, refuse any activities - even if my date is excited about them,
have my own feelings and be able to express them, say "I think you are wrong
and your actions are inappropriate, tell someone not to interrupt me, have
my limits and values respected, tell my partner when I need affection, refuse
affection, be heard, refuse to lend money, refuse sex any time for any reason,
and have friends and space aside from my partner.
I have the responsibility to: determine my limits and values, respect the limits of others, communicate clearly and honestly, not violate the limits of others, ask for help when I need it, be considerate, check my actions and decisions to determine whether they are good or bad for me, and set high goals for myself.
Sources: Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence newsletter, Winter 1999, Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Family Relations Journal, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, New Directions in Research Journal, Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc., Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence |
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